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Again

I want to start over.  I always want to start over.  The beginning is a purity. Nothing has been determined; no mistakes have been made.  It is the blue sky only -- no clouds sully it, nor is it stained by dirt.

Original sin is the fact that there is no beginning. I am always far down the path. I suffer for what I no longer am, and presently I lay the foundations for future suffering.  These are the sins of the fathers, and I am a perpetual father.

Reflection and memory throw a light on my existence. I might use the shadow of the present to blot out this light. Under that shadow I could recline and slumber.  Socrates and his disciples would not approve.

Live in a new world!  It will always be the very first time.  -- Is hope something old or something new?  Is hope pure?  I only hope when I have not got what I want.  Hope is proof of suffering.  Hope must have made mistakes or lived to see them made.  But hope is simple, because it does not heed the lessons of experience; hope is clever, because it knows that experience can never have the final word.

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